The Joys of Youth
I strolled around my house today, enjoying the searing 100+ degree heat that sent reams of sweat pouring down my back and face, waiting for my dog to go to the bathroom. This is a touchy subject as my dog at times can get irritable bowel syndrome, also known as the uncontrollable shits, and therefore needs to be pushed and prodded into potty breaks on a regular interval. As I yelled encouragement to her ("Sadie! Go potty! Right now! HURRY UP!") a late model sedan pulls into the alley next to my house with its bass thumping. A man jumps from the passenger seat and looks in my direction. Being accosted in my backyard is nothing new; sometimes it's nice to know I can step out the back door and be offered crack at reasonable prices without any need for troublesome transportation. However, this gentleman had no desire to sell me any recreational pharmaceuticals. With barely a glance, he walks around the car, pulls down his pants, and begins to urinate on my neighbor's fence. I had to admire the kid for his gutsy move. I've performed all manner of public drunken urination in my day but never directly and blatantly in front of a complete stranger like he was doing. Now came the quandry: as a responsible member of the community and homeowner, I should yell at the kid and threaten to call the police. It was the right thing to do. However, being able to identify with the intense need to relieve one's self wherever one can I stayed my hand for a moment as I thought this through. Finally, with the mosquitoes buzzing around my face and the sweat continuing to pour down my body, I called my dog to me and we went inside.
I mean, he wasn't peeing in my yard, right?
posted by Nick @ 19:05
1 Comments:
I have a funny one. My son, 10 years old, decided to use the benefit of being a boy, and go use nature as his bathroom. No, it wasn't against the neighbors fence; we were in fact, in a parking area of a river takeout point and there were no bathrooms nearby. Generally this is not a momentous event, however this day was exceptional.
There were probably 20 people standing around having just finished a 3 hour whitewater kayak adventure down this river. We were all hanging out chatting, when someone looked up and started giggling. My son had decided to go relieve himself behind a tree. Well, not quite a "tree". It was, in fact, a sappling, no bigger than two finger around. My son on the other hand, is a broad shouldered 10 year old, 5'2", and the only thing this sappling blocked, while he stood behind it, was a thin line down his backside. He was at least facing up the hill from the tree and we were downhill from him. There were no other trees on this hillside, and he was clearly "peeing behind a tree" as was always suggested to him when peeing in nature.
Even after I gently but teasingly said, "Did you really think that tree was going to hide you?" He just shrugged his shoulders and finish his job.
The moral of the story I guess is that it is more important to relieve yourself when the need calls, than to be concerned about privacy, amongst strangers.
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